Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

I have never thought of myself as being a perfectionist but i guess when spending 4 days writing an English assignment, hours upon hours on my sketchbook for photography, and also scared to disappoint when running in cross country the other day i have realised that not only am i a perfectionist, deep down i truly am trying to please everyone more than myself. I want to do well, i want to please others, but when trying to do that i forget about me and what affect that has. I guess this would be one of the causes that has made me who i am right now. Unfortunately i don't like this person but i can't seem to change it as no matter how hard i try there is no way i can please everyone and be happy with myself.
Tonight my blog post has turned slightly into a diary post. I have a secret, but i'm scared of telling people as i'm scared they will judge me for what i have become. This has a serious affect on relationships with friends and meeting new people. I don't want to have to introduce myself and have to explain why i've had to drop a year and why i moved schools.
Another reason why i struggle to tell people my secret is because many don't actually understand it, they are shallow and just think that this 'lifestyle' is something i have chosen and am doing it for attention. Sometimes people just need to sit back and think and realise that everyone goes through struggles in life. Some are different and more complicated than others, but also people learn how to cope and deal with these events differently. I turned towards something dark and scary, that has completely enveloped me in a world of torment and confusion.

My Auntie from France took me to London on an evening out. I took this photo in the reflection of a glass barrier. I've always had a thing for St Paul's Cathedral, i have no idea why, but i just love taking photos of it. 

This is the roof of a market near The Shard in London. When i walked through this area of London i felt as though i was in Oliver Twist! 

This is my brother's rugby team playing a match. I was experimenting with the aperture settings when i took this and i quite like how it turned out as it's entirely different and unusual to what some photos look like. 

Because of feeling like this, i think this is why i turned to photography. It takes my mind off daily experiences and life as i just get to be creative.
I've always thought that writing a blog is corny and lame, but writing tonight has been a good thing for me to do.
Thanks for reading my babble.